Feeling BLUE

I cant remember the last time i was so down in the dumps, im writing this post specifically to reflect back on months from now, years from now.

We are going to see a counselor tomorrow to try and work out my bout with this depression i am feeling, it really does hurt, depression. I really thought this move was going to be a great thing for our family,why cant i just cope! I think non stop of how i miss home and how i regret thinking this was the answer, how could i think leaving Dana Point would make things better? I have a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it. sigh

I dont know what the future holds for us, we dont know if the railroad will even grant jeff the opportunity to take his former job, we may be faced with him quitting just so we can get back home, is that even logical?? I dont know.

For now i need to try and dig myself out of this dark place i am in, for myself, for molly and jeff!