Where did that year go??

no one knows of my blog, so I never update. I just blogstalk :)

BUT, there are so many new things in our lives that have changed in the year that i posted last.

We moved back home to California..YAY
We celebrated Finn turning 1 :)
We found out we are expecting another baby in September
Molly graduated from Pre-school and will go to "Big-Girl" school in the Fall
Jeff was promoted :)) which makes life that much easier

We love all the things that we have been blessed with this past year.

Our newest addition

Finnian Grey McCabe was born on February 16th at 5:12pm. My labor was a breeze compared to my labor with molly.

We are still figuring out the sleep routine, it's been exhausting. Much harder with 2 kids i must say!, YOU dont have the luxury of just lying in bed and snuggling with your newborn trying to catch up on the sleep you didnt get in the wee hours of the morning. But we're getting there, and loving every minute with our son.

So the answer was NO

I receieved an email from my local chairman in los angeles and since i elected to quit there is nothing they can do to reinstate me :(

I have been praying about it and I'm really ok with the outcome. So I guess I will always be a former railroad engineer! It's ok, I will move on and continue with something else..a nurse perhaps?? we'll see, but for now that is what the plans are.



Love

Leslie

I Still HaVeN't heard a THING

You know when you're expecting news and you're trying to be positive and think things are going to work out like you hope, but cant help but wondering "what-if' ? what if the news I get isnt the news I want! then what do I do??? That's where I am right now wondering and waiting for my local chairman to call or email me with the news, good or bad. Because as far as I'm converned this is our ticket back to California and THAT excites me, it also makes me nervous for alot of different reasons. Finding reliable babysitting for the two most important people in my life, dealing with the possibility that my husband may not join us for months and months, and re-qualifying and passing all of the hard tests that I'm going to have to take. But this is what I want right? Right! or at least I hope I'm right.

So until I hear something, anything I will be waiting for the news that I want to hear. Positive thinking ='s postive results right? Let's hope so.

Love

Leslie

Nervous AND Excited

So... since we have been here in Missouri for 10 months now, which honestly seems like 10 years, my mind races and races to try and figure out a WAY OUT. Maybe some of you didnt know that i worked for the BNSF for 13 years and decided i wanted to quit and start my family and change careers. Well i did ALL of that however one big glich in my plans my so called new career didnt work out as i had hoped i ended up getting pregnant 3 months into my assistant program and couldnt handle standing on my tired aching feet for 12-14 hours a day, so i quit. 15 months later i decided to assist again making a whopping 10$ an hour just enough to cover babysitting fees. Long story short I quit,we moved and im miserable! So i contacted my old local chairman with the Railroad and asked if i could get my job back half joking half serious thinking there is no way in hell it would happen I mean who quits a seniority based union job and 4 1/2 years later wants it back AND thinks they'll get it back!

That leads me to today. Im waiting nervously for an answer as to whether I will be granted the unthinkable (my job) What will I do with the kids? What about jeff? he's here and i would be there! alone. I'm thinking my chances are about 10% I know i should be more optimistic but I dont want to get my hopes up too high. So that is what is going on in my world THIS second. I've been praying and praying for good news, i will try and accept the bad news if that is what is meant to be.



PS...I can feel finn move ON THE OUTSIDE of my tummy..so fun

Going Home At Last (for a visit)

We are heading home to Dana Point for a MUCH needed visit, i miss home, blah blah blah, everyone knows how much i miss it, do i need to keep saying it??

I feel like we're tourists, we're not even there yet, am i going to feel like an outsider? or is it going to all come rushing back as if i never left? i hope its the latter. We plan on basking in the warm southern california sun, surfing, eating the yummiest mexican food around (javiers) and visiting a few friends, but mainly enjoying being home for 7 days 8 nights! ICAN HARDLY WAIT.

We just went through some paper work the other day and realized that we have to be here for 24 months or we repay any money the railroad gave us for this move! How will i survive 15 more months?? I can survive 15 more months right?? well for today i will get through another day.

Love

Leslie

Feeling BLUE

I cant remember the last time i was so down in the dumps, im writing this post specifically to reflect back on months from now, years from now.

We are going to see a counselor tomorrow to try and work out my bout with this depression i am feeling, it really does hurt, depression. I really thought this move was going to be a great thing for our family,why cant i just cope! I think non stop of how i miss home and how i regret thinking this was the answer, how could i think leaving Dana Point would make things better? I have a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it. sigh

I dont know what the future holds for us, we dont know if the railroad will even grant jeff the opportunity to take his former job, we may be faced with him quitting just so we can get back home, is that even logical?? I dont know.

For now i need to try and dig myself out of this dark place i am in, for myself, for molly and jeff!